My Connections to Play

"Play is the highest form of research." - Albert Einstein

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

 As an only child, I played a lot by myself and that was usually when I played school, Barbies, or pure imaginative play when I was with my grandparents. I played a lot in my grandfather's welding shop too, acting things out and pretending the nut or bolt I found on the ground had some great meaning. I liked to pretend I was in charge of his shop and that I worked there as well, always tinkering with his office supplies, etc. 

When I would play with friends though, that's when the great times at the city park would happen or the Barbies would travel down the alley with me to play in the outdoor playhouse or my friend's bedroom. I have never been one that has played video games. Board games have been a big part of my life, but not so much the "screentime" that is such a necessity now. I get worried when I see students that are unable to conjure up their imaginations. However, I am a supporter of technology for learning purposes and think it is fantastic. I am just nervous that they are growing to depend on it too much and are missing out on the amazing experiences of childhood. It could just be a sign of the changing times that come with every generation's passing, though. Things aren't meant to always stay the same, but I try to instill a love of real, imaginative play in all of my students. 

~*Relationship Reflection

Wow...reflecting on the relationships in my life. Even to this day, at 34 years old, I will say that I have a tendency to allow people into my life who are not positive influences. I'm not sure if it's because as a teacher I have the urge to help people, or if I have a lower view of myself, but thankfully, I eventually see that I allow these negative relationships to take hold of me and I release them. Sometimes, they release me and it's only in that release that I see it wasn't healthy to begin with. 

My longest friendship started 30 years ago with a girl that lived down the alley from my grandparents, where I spent a majority of my time growing up. Her name is Miranda, and thankfully, we're still friends to this day. We didn't go to high school together, but I ended up going to college a year behind her at the same university. My senior year and the year after she graduated, we moved in together and lived together for 18 months before I moved for my career. We still see each other about once a year, but are trying to make it more often than that. She's always been a friend that I can go months without talking to or sending a message to, but something will spark a memory and we'll message each other and nothing will have changed. A classic timeless friendship, and we are always there for each other. 

Another positive friendship I'm thankful for didn't come until 2010 when I moved to the small town I live in now. My relationship with Heather wasn't a friendship at first, but one of business, as she is the owner of the bar that I worked at on weekends for 7 years. I can't tell you when it happened, but at some point throughout those year, our working relationship turned into a friendship where we're more like sisters, to the point we call each other "sissy" and she and her actual sister have "adopted" me into the family. We don't do everything together, but we always have each other's backs and are there when we need each other. She's taught me so many helpful life lessons and continues to help me with life problems. She's about 8 years older than me and has already lived through a lot in her life. The one thing that I really cherish about her is that she's a "tell-it-like-it-is" kind of woman. 

My next relationship group is a group of amazing women who I don't even all know personally, but they are my rock! It's funny to me that a group on social media (LadyBoss) is a group that pushes me to do more and helps me through more emotionally than I ever thought possible. I adore the friends that I have face-to-face, but this group is the most positive and uplifting group of women who always have my back. The amount of positivity and pep that I thrive on just isn't something most of my friends have. And during this time, virtual relationships are growing more and more. It seems odd and I understand that, but I adore them all. The two women in my picture with me were two random ladies that agreed to split a hotel room with me when we went to our group's LIVE event.

My last relationship group I want to touch on is one I'm still working on. I've been in romantic relationships, but I always seem to date men that "aren't good enough for me." I'm absolutely not stuck up or think I'm better than anyone else, but maybe that's part of my problem. When it really comes down to it, I have exceptionally low self esteem (which is why I thrive on that LadyBoss and the positivity and self empowerment that it provides). When I start dating someone new, he always seems great, and from then on, I tend to overlook any red flags because I tell myself I won't be able to meet anyone else after this. I am again, freshly single after a relationship that wasn't terrible, but he absolutely wasn't the type of man I should be living my life with. When people ask me when I'm going to start dating someone else, I see them scoff when I explain that I need to work on my relationship with myself first. My biological clock is ticking and it terrifies me because I want a family of my own, but in order to find a man who is worthy of my love, my relationship with myself needs to be a lot stronger. In the end, I feel that is the most important relationship.

When I Think of Child Development

Play is so crucial in the lift of a child, but it is not often viewed as such. Many people don't realize that a child's brain is growing and learning while it is experiencing with play. Social skills, problem-solving, perseverance, concentration, attention span, and so much more. Play is a way to teaching to the whole child and helping them to become more powerful learners in academics.



First of all, I love everything about Maria Montessori and her methods. I love the way that Montessori schools are run, so much self-teaching going on! Secondly, this quote speaks so much to me. Early childhood is a crucial time in a child's life. Social skills, responsibility, respectfulness, and so much more are initiated in childhood, helping children make their steps in the right direction in life.

Testing in Early Childhood

I live in a small, rural community of approximately 250-275 people. Somehow, about eight years ago, we started having families move into our town that were of Finnish descent. These families are also very large, ranging from young families just starting out, to large families of 12 or more! I've learned a lot about life in Finland in the past 8 years, having at least 1 Finn student each year. What I've become most interested in, however, is hearing the parents explain the school system in Finland to me. Finland is ranked among the highest in the world for education, and when thinking about the early childhood setting, I think they're priorities deserve a second look.

While reading the article, "No grammar school, lots of play in Europe's top education system" written by Patrick Butler for the US Edition of The Guardian, I found so many statements and practices that I agree with and wish the United States would follow suit, as a nation. Their breakdown of grades is different from ours, and children don't start formal school until the age of 7. This doesn't mean that children aren't learning, however. Daycare in Finland is structured for kids through the age of 6 and "is to help them develop good social habits: to learn how to make friends and respect others, for example, or to dress themselves competently" (Butler, 2016).

In the United States, what will come to mind for most adults at the mention of "daycare" will be playing, napping, and eating in someone else's care so that the parents can work. It was noted in the article that this frame of mind was popular in Finland in the 1970s but has since changed. Daycare is now looked upon as an opportunity to prepare children to be lifelong learners by incorporating carefully organized play to help develop qualities in children like attention span, perseverance, concentration, and problem-solving - which in a child of only 4 years old are stronger predictors of academic success than how early they learn to read, according to Tiina Marjoniemi. 

I haven't forgotten that my purpose is the discussion of testing in an early childhood setting, but I had to talk about my love for the Finnish education system first. First of all, I am not a supporter of the formal testing or the United States' idea of "teaching to the test" because honestly, how is that helping the students? As an early childhood educator, I have kids coming into my classroom in the fall that cannot hold a pencil, have problems with buttons and zippers, can't sing the ABC song, and have a low self-esteem. I can only imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to provide them with structured play to build these skills BEFORE working on the academics, because unfortunately when all of the components are jam-packed into one school year, all of the social and developmental skills are pushed aside to start "teaching to the test." The only testing that early childhood kids should have to endure is the type that the daycares in Finland use; walking around observing the children and taking note of how their social skills are developing as well as making sure they are being encompassed by the ideals of teaching to the "Whole Child." I dare even say, the type of teaching Finland institutes seems like a fairy tale I'd love to be in. A fairy tale where kids get to be kids and instead of making them cater to the needs of the government, we cater to their needs.

Source:  Butler, P. (2017, November 28). No grammar schools, lots of play: the secrets of Europe’s top education system. Retrieved April 24, 2020, from https://www.theguardian.com/education/2016/sep/20/grammar-schools-play-europe-top-education-system-finland-daycare

Childhood in Poverty

When I think back to my childhood, I wouldn't necessarily say that I lived in extreme poverty, but there were definitely times and instances that I know I can relate to living in poverty.

Growing up, it was just my mom and me. There were a few times we lived with my grandparents, and when we weren't living with them, they were always there, just a regular part of our nuclear family. I was never embarrassed by this fact; I thought it was the greatest thing ever!

My mom, as a single parent, also utilized the possible help provided by the state for living. One Christmas while we were on welfare, I got so many Christmas gifts, I loved it. During my childhood, I lived in two different states; Montana and North Dakota. In North Dakota, they'd already begun using the EBT card so all you had to do was swipe like a credit card when you were on food stamps. In Montana though, food stamps still came in a booklet like loan payment slips and you needed to tear them out and hand them to the cashier. That process wasn't conspicuous or pleasant. Just the idea that people knew bothered me. Since we were low-income, we were also able to have the house we were living in repainted through a housing project, and had help with our heat in the winter. My first job was paid through a company called Action for Eastern Montana. They paid me minimum wage to help at the county extension office, an opportunity only available to low-income families.

It's upsetting, and to this day, I panic if a credit card or check system takes a few seconds too long. I can't tell you the number of times we'd be in the store and be turned away because my mom had written a "bad check" with non-sufficient funds at that store. I remember one night, I was maybe ten, I went to answer the door after someone had knocked on it. Standing on the other side was a police officer. He had a warrant for my mom's arrest because she'd written an NSF (non-sufficient funds) check, to Pizza Hut. She said she'd never been informed of the check being bad. While I stood there sobbing and she explained to the officer there was no one else to take care of me, somehow it was worked out that she had a matter of days to pay the check and wouldn't have to go to jail.

My mom will often apologize through tears about my childhood. What she doesn't understand though, is that I'm grateful for my childhood. I have amazing memories of my grandparents. They were like my second set of parents. I have experiences that I learned from. Being a low-income college student, I qualified for Student Support so I had a different orientation class than the rest of my incoming class. There, I learned about all the different types of loan help and programs available. As an adult, I try to be thrifty, watch the in and out of my money. But the number one thing I'm grateful for is that I don't take anything for granted. I don't expect that I should just have things. I work for what I want. I was told often by an ex of mine that I needed to take the summers off so I could recuperate. But if I wanted to pay my bills and buy those "extra" things I had my eyes on, I needed to work to make the money I needed. What I'm trying to say, is that my childhood taught me that I need to work to have money, I need to watch my money and spend it wisely, it taught me to have a great amount of respect, and there are always people less fortunate than me.

I wanted to look into Ireland and see what kinds of challenges children face there, but I couldn't find anything. In the past, of course Ireland has dealt with famine, but I am uncertain of what kinds of things children there face today. I'm sure there are the common problems, such as my history of poverty, or  violence.

SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

For this week's blog, we were asked to look into some of the different health problems facing infants. I chose SIDS to take a closer look at. When I was 10, my cousin's daughter passed away at her daycare from SIDS. Laynie was a sweet 5 month old about to be 6 months, around the age that they say you don't have to be worried anymore about SIDS. She had been dropped off at daycare that morning by her momma and was in fine spirits. The daycare put her down for her nap and after they thought she had been sleeping too long, someone went to wake her to find that she wasn't breathing.

This tragedy that my family endured happens too often, but thankfully has started to decrease drastically in the United States. In part, we have Dr. Susan Beal to thank for that as her research showed that tummy-sleeping babies are at more risk for SIDS. After her research became public, doctors started recommending that babies sleep on their backs (Berger, 155). "In 1984, SIDS killed 5,245 babies in the United States” (Berger, 155). In 1994, a campaign to promote babies sleeping on their backs being the best position, helped cut the number of deaths down drastically.  In 2017 there were approximately 1,400 SIDS deaths in the United States (CDC).  It's unfortunate that while we have an idea of some things that seem to cause SIDS, but there are many factors that Dr. Beal, along with other researchers, believe could heighten the risk of SIDS. Those risks being: "low birthweight, winter, being male, exposure to cigarettes, soft blankets or pillows, bed-sharing, and physical abnormalities (in the brainstem, heart, mitochondria, microbiome)" (Berger, 155).

In other parts of the world, its seen that developing countries are the ones hit hardest by SIDS. Africa seems to be the continent with the most SIDS deaths around 55 per 1,000 live births. However, the country with the most deaths is Afghanistan with a staggering 112.8 deaths per 1,000 live births.

Resources:

Data and Statistics - SIDS and SUID-CDC. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/sids/data.htm

Berger, K. S. (2018). The developing
person through childhood (8th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

I, unfortunately, haven't had the amazing privilege of carrying a child and giving birth. I want more than anything to be a mom and have one of my own to love and raise, but having a spouse and family hasn't been written into my life plan yet. Hopefully it's soon to come. 

Until that day comes, I called my mom to chat with her about her experience when I was born nearly 33 years ago. She recalled checking into the hospital at 11:55 pm on October 20, 1986. My amazing grandma had driven her from the small town of Halliday where they (we) lived to Bismarck, about 120 miles. Pardon the remainder of my story, while I am going to be 100% transparent. My dad wasn't there with my mom when I was born. You see, October 20th was his anniversary. He'd started a relationship with my mom before she was aware of his being married. She did meet him on the highway on the way to Bismarck so he did know she was in labor, but he couldn't be there. 

She is allergic to Novocain so after calling the pharmacy, the doctor finally gave her Lidocaine for the pain. She clearly remembers my grandma there holding her hand though it, and squeezing my moms hand every time she cussed because the nuns would glare at her. I was born in a Catholic hospital! The doctor broke her water around 8:15 am and I was here at 11:55 am on October 21, 1986. I was depressed and taken to the NICU and was jaundiced so was placed under the bili lights.  I got to go home about a week later and was back in on Halloween because I quit breathing. We spent the night in the ER and I was released the next morning. 

I've never heard any stories of anyone having a baby in another country, so I had nothing to go on. So I needed to do a little research. My last name is Fjelstad (pronounced Felsted), so I immediately decided that I wanted to look into the country where my heritage originates, Norway. 

I found out a lot of fun information about having babies in Norway, and decided I may move there before I have a child! Appointments are at hospitals with doctors, but all doctors recommend meeting and working with a midwife. The moms give birth at the hospital but there are two different areas. If the birth seems to be going well, they'll be placed in an area with a small amount of medical equipment. If there are any medical issues arising during delivery they'll go to the regular medical ward. Once the baby is born, mother and child stay in the hospital around 3 days on a floor that resembles a hotel and each bathroom has a changing table. The family of the mother and baby are allowed to stay but are charged to stay.  An opinion I read stated that pregnancy in Norway is treated more like a normal part of life rather than a medical diagnosis.  

Aside from those great reasons, I found out that the government will pay the family around $4500 USD once the baby is born, and a monthly allowance as well which I read was around $120 USD until the child turns 18. The national healthcare also pays for all prenatal care. Wow! It really blows my mind how different having a child is around the world.